Awful Mobile Games – Ice Queen Give Birth

Ice Queen

So I decided it would be fun to try and find a random awful looking game on the Play Store and review it. As I flipped through random game after random game I stopped and stared at one called “Ice Queen Give Birth To A Baby” PlayStore Link. The gist of the game is that Queen Elsa from the movie Frozen is pregnant (it doesn’t say by whom, so we just have to use our imagination… maybe it was Olaf?) and you have to do a few things to expedite the delivery process and then care for the baby after it’s been delivered.

I was hoping there would be some kind of metric where there’s a countdown timer to the delivery and you have to speed through the streets of Arendale to get her to the hospital before she has the baby in the back of the carriage – but no. Nothing exciting. Your first task is to grab the stethoscope off the table and with your finger wiggle it back and forth over Elsa… or the baby… I dunno, it worked both ways. A progress bar fills up and you’re done. I have no idea what I was supposed to be doing with it.

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The next step is to give her an ultrasound… I’m dead serious. This was the absolute weirdest part of the whole game. I can only assume it’s supposed to be aimed towards 6 or 7 year old girls and they include the task of rubbing Elsa down with ultrasound gel and then using an ultrasound probe on her stomach to get an image of the baby. How weird is that?!?

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Steam Rolls Out Paid Mods

Steam Paid Mods

Update: Gabe Newell had a long spontaneous AMA about the paid mods for Skyrim yesterday on /r/gaming and in the end decided to remove the feature.

We understand our own game’s communities pretty well, but stepping into an established, years old modding community in Skyrim was probably not the right place to start iterating. We think this made us miss the mark pretty badly, even though we believe there’s a useful feature somewhere here.

Steam rolled out paid mods for games yesterday starting with Skyrim. There has been an extremely loud backlash against this in most gaming communities for several reasons that people feel it will be detrimental to the gaming and modding scene. To start off, the mod creator is getting 25% of profits while the store gets 75%. Steam says they’re splitting the profits from the Skyrim mods with Bethesda but don’t say whether it’s 25/50% of the sale or if it’s an even 37.5/37.5%.  Also, developers of mods must earn at least $100 before they ever receive any money from Steam – actually $400 in sales before they get their $100 check.

One problem that may not be evident now is what happens when you buy a mod that doesn’t work with other mods that you’ve purchased and the developer of the mod is either no longer around or doesn’t feel like fixing it. There doesn’t seem to be a way to get a refund or any support from anyone else. Some mods even require other mods to work – this means that if a dependancy mod that you use to get several other mods working goes out of date, it will cause several of your mods to cease working. This isn’t like paid DLC where it’s guaranteed to work with your game and not interfere with other parts. Once people start paying for stuff they are going to feel very entitled to a working version all the time-not to mention help and support.

Then there’s the whole “supporting the modders” line that you really have to be dim to believe. Mods that were available over on Nexus just last week are now up on the Steam Workshop for money. Wet and Cold for instance has been updated to version 2.0 and includes various small “tweaks and fixes” and is no longer available on Nexus and Isoku asks you to uninstall his old version and to purchase the new version for $4.99. Some mods are only 99 cents, and while $1 isn’t a lot, there are people with literally hundreds of mods installed for Skyrim. It’s crowd sourcing microtransactions and the modders only get a 25% cut. You can go right now on Steam and buy a sword model for a single player game for $1 or you can go to Nexus and get mods that add 30+ hours of gameplay and overhaul the graphics entirely.

As hard as it is to believe – Steam isn’t the same as it was 5-10 years ago. They couldn’t get games on their store fast enough so instead of expanding their employee base to compensate, they introduce Greenlight to have us vote which games should be on Steam for them. Then when that failed they introduced Steam Curators that is basically another way for other people to do their work of identifying poorly made games, scams, and other trash. They are notorious for having some of the worst customer service on the internet and they have a monopoly on PC gaming and have made no real improvements to improve their customer service. It’s a sad day when it’s easier to get refunds and to pick up freebies that you missed by a couple days from EA’s Origin than it is on Steam.

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Killing Floor 2 Early Access

Killing Floor 2 Early Access

 

Killing Floor 2 has released on Steam Early Access. If you enjoyed the first Killing Floor game, you’ll certainly want to look into KF2. From the developers at Tripwire Interactive:

“This is the Steam Early Access for Killing Floor 2. The game is what we consider a “polished beta” and is ready for you to play, just with a reduced set of content, so that we can get player feedback on the balance and gameplay. That feedback will help us get the game to be the best it can be, as we add the rest of the content, piece by piece.”

They said there is a chance for multiple stat and perk progress wipes during early access. So if you don’t want to have to repeat your progress you may want to wait until it is in a released state.

If you could care less – grab it and start killing!

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